"Loving Me Inside and Out"

Growing up as a young adolescent, just as any little girl, I loved playing dress up and trying on make-up. Whether it was family, friends, or strangers, I always got compliments on how beautiful I was and that I should be a model.
Having low self-esteem was never an issue nor was it anything that I thought about until the 6th grade. I noticed most of the girls in my junior high class were well developed with breast, hips, and even starting there menstrual at only 12 years of age. So, of course the boys were more drawn to these girls than me. Besides boys not paying me any attention I noticed girls didn’t like me for petty reasons; the color of my skin, my hair texture, the way I talked, etc.
When I reached the 8th grade there was a boy named Demetrius in my math class that was considered one of the “popular” guys of the school. For some reason 3 months into the school year he wanted to be my boyfriend! I was shocked. Never before did any boy show interest in me, let alone for him to be “popular”. I was on cloud nine. I accepted the offer but than began second guessing his real reason behind asking to go study. I mean, he never wanted to sit next to me at lunch, or hug me good-bye at the end of the school day, like he was embarrassed to be seen around school with me. After four days of us “dating” I got a call from Demetrius that our relationship was over. I can’t say I was surprised, but I just wanted to know why you even bothered to ask me out in the first place. The next day at school I was the joke of the school, I felt hurt, embarrassed, and used for his comical purposes.
That’s when I realized people can be cold hearted even when it is undeserved. I began to feel that something was wrong with me as to why I wasn’t desirable by guys and barely had any friends. When I reached the 9th grade things became worse. All of my so-called friends turned their backs on me and made it their goal to torture me on a daily basis. I heard it all, from ho’s to baby killers, even them saying I smelled like fish. I admit, after a while I let it all get to me. It hurt. I started slacking in school. I went from A-B honor student to D- average, I began skipping school and spent a lot of my 9th grade year crying and depressed on life, and not wanting to live anymore.
Around this time not only was the name calling coming from classmates but my own Mother. It was just too much for me. After being harassed and tortured at school, when I arrived home, a place of peace and comfort, the same thing was happening by my Mother. When I look back now I laugh because I realize that God made me beautiful, regardless of what anyone else thinks.
Today I’m a new person, I’ve come a long way with “Loving Me” for who I am inside and out. I can say with my head high that “I LOVE MYSELF UNCONDITIONALLY” I have learned to surround myself with positive people and true friends. This has helped me in the process of gaining my confidence in myself while blocking the negative people out.